I recently read an online article about an interview with Clarissa Farr (the High Mistress of my school) about ‘snowplough parents’, so I thought it would be quite relevant and interesting to talk about my view on pushy parents.
First of all, what are pushy parents? For me, pushy parents are mothers and fathers who are ‘training’ their children not to make the mistakes they made in life; forcing their children to do something that will satisfy the parents and not necessarily the child. For example, forcing a child to play five instruments when they hate music and want to become a scientist. Things like that. It’s this that will slowly break down their child, slowing them to a standstill – and here I agree with Ms Farr’s comparison of pushy parents to snowploughs. It’s as if the children are on a skiing slope; let’s say an easy blue run to start them off ‘well’ in life. There is a snowplough right in front of them, to clear the path of any obstacles that some parents would not want their child to encounter. But how is the child to learn to cope with failure if they’ve never experienced it? When they move out and have their first boyfriend? When they split up? How are they going to cope with the fact that they aren’t perfect? Surely if someone’s lifelong goal is perfection, any fall, however short, will be devastating.
Is this really right? Do these parents even deserve to be parents? Would it be safer for them to be behind bars? Don’t they know they will drive their children to suicide if they continue this? These were just a few of the thoughts flashing round my brain as I read the article exploring Ms Farr’s interview. Shouldn’t these parents just let their children be? Or can they not? Have they become too engrossed in this new, ‘life-solving’ routine of theirs that will improve (debatable) their reputation as a good parent? Ok, maybe it’s the way they were taught themselves, therefore the only way they know to raise a child? But surely they would notice the pain and hurt in the child’s eyes when they tell them to do something again because it’s not good enough... Take the famous pianist Lang Lang. He was told to jump off his balcony by his father and with his father because his playing ‘wasn’t perfect’.
Why do these pushy parents not understand that one can’t make a child perfect? Why can’t they compete with their child’s school rather than against their child’s school? And most of all, how on Earth do they not realise that their child has a mind of their own? Most children do. Unless they’ve been brainwashed by their parents.
Is it an English ‘thing’ or is it foreign influence and competitiveness? And will these pushy parents ever learn?
Read the article: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/11262228/Top-head-attacks-pushy-snowplough-parents.html